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1. 

   Shawn Landres on November 30, 2004 at 9:47 am

   Snoop Dogg does Genesis (NIV), courteous of the shizzolation of http://www.biblegateway.com/cgi-bin/bible?passage=GEN+1&language=english&version=NIV&showfn=on&showxref=on :

   Genesis 1

   The Beginning

   1 In da beginning Dogg created da heavens ‘n da earth, know what I’m sayin’?
   2 Now da earth wuz [1] formless ‘n empty, darkness wuz over da surface of da deep, ‘n da Spirit of Dogg wuz hovering over da waters n’ shit.
   3 And Dogg be like, “Let there be light,” ‘n there wuz light n’ shit. 4 Dogg seen that da light wuz gravy, ‘n tha dude separated da light from da darkness n’ shit. 5 Dogg called da light “day,” ‘n da darkness tha dude called “night.” ” And there wuz evening, ‘n there wuz morning-da first day, know what I’m sayin’?
   6 And Dogg be like, “Let there be an expanse between da waters separate H-2-Izzo from H-2-Izzo, know what I’m sayin’? ” 7 So Dogg made da expanse ‘n separated da H-2-Izzo under da expanse from da H-2-Izzo above that shiznit, know what I’m sayin’? And that shiznit wuz so.” 8 Dogg called da expanse “sky n’ shit. ” And there wuz evening, ‘n there wuz morning-da second day.”
   9 And Dogg be like, “Let da H-2-Izzo under da sky be gathered one place, ‘n let dry ground appear, know what I’m sayin’? ” And that shiznit wuz so n’ shit. 10 Dogg called da dry ground “land,” ‘n da gathered waters tha dude called “seas.” ” And Dogg seen that that shiznit wuz gravy, know what I’m sayin’?
   11 Then Dogg be like, “Let da land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants ‘n trees on da land that bear fruit wit seed in that shiznit, according they various kinds, know what I’m sayin’? ” And that shiznit wuz so, know what I’m sayin’? 12 The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according they kinds ‘n trees bearing fruit wit seed in that shiznit according they kinds n’ shit. And Dogg seen that that shiznit wuz gravy, know what I’m sayin’? 13 And there wuz evening, ‘n there wuz morning-da third day.”
   14 And Dogg be like, “Let there be lights in da expanse of da sky separate da day from da night, ‘n let ’em serve as signs mark seasons ‘n days ‘n years, 15 ‘n let ’em be lights in da expanse of da sky give light on da earth.” ” And that shiznit wuz so, know what I’m sayin’? 16 Dogg made two bomb diggity lights-da greater light govern da day ‘n da lesser light govern da night, know what I’m sayin’? Tha dude also made da stars n’ shit. 17 Dogg set ’em in da expanse of da sky give light on da earth, 18 govern da day ‘n da night, ‘n separate light from darkness.” And Dogg seen that that shiznit wuz gravy n’ shit. 19 And there wuz evening, ‘n there wuz morning-da fourth day, know what I’m sayin’?
   20 And Dogg be like, “Let da H-2-Izzo teem wit living creatures, ‘n let birds fly above da earth across da expanse of da sky, know what I’m sayin’? ” 21 So Dogg created da bomb diggity creatures of da sea ‘n every living ‘n moving thing wit which da H-2-Izzo teems, according they kinds, ‘n every winged bird according its kind, know what I’m sayin’? And Dogg seen that that shiznit wuz gravy.” 22 Dogg blessed ’em ‘n be like, “Be fruitful ‘n increase in number ‘n fill da H-2-Izzo in da seas, ‘n let da birds increase on da earth, know what I’m sayin’? ” 23 And there wuz evening, ‘n there wuz morning-da fifth day n’ shit.
   24 And Dogg be like, “Let da land produce living creatures according they kinds: livestock, creatures that move along da ground, ‘n wild animals, each according its kind.” ” And that shiznit wuz so n’ shit. 25 Dogg made da wild animals according they kinds, da livestock according they kinds, ‘n izzall da creatures that move along da ground according they kinds.” And Dogg seen that that shiznit wuz gravy.”
   26 Then Dogg be like, “Let us make mutha in izzle image, in izzle likeness, ‘n let ’em rule over da fish of da sea ‘n da birds of da izzle, over da livestock, over izzall da earth, [2] ‘n over izzall da creatures that move along da ground.” ”
   27 So Dogg created mutha in tha dude’s own image, in da image of Dogg tha dude created tha dude’s ass; male ‘n female tha dude created ’em.”
   28 Dogg blessed ’em ‘n be like ’em, “Be fruitful ‘n increase in number; fill da earth ‘n subdue that shiznit.” Rule over da fish of da sea ‘n da birds of da izzle ‘n over every living creature that moves on da ground.” ”
   29 Then Dogg be like, “I give yo’ ass every seed-bearing plant on da face of da whole earth ‘n every tree that has fruit wit seed in that shiznit.” They will be yours fo’ food n’ shit. 30 And izzall da beasts of da earth ‘n izzall da birds of da izzle ‘n izzall da creatures that move on da ground-everything that has da breath of life in that shiznit-I give every green plant fo’ food, know what I’m sayin’? ” And that shiznit wuz so.”
   31 Dogg seen izzall that tha dude had made, ‘n that shiznit wuz hella gravy.” And there wuz evening, ‘n there wuz morning-da sixth day, know what I’m sayin’?

   Footnotes
   1:2 Or possibly became
   1:26 Hebrew; Syriac izzall da wild animals

   Here’s the KJV, for you purists out there:
   Genesis 1
   1   In da beginning Dogg created da heaven ‘n da earth, know what I’m sayin’?
   2   And da earth wuz without form, ‘n void; ‘n darkness wuz upon da face of da deep, know what I’m sayin’? And da Spirit of Dogg moved upon da face of da waters.”
   3   And Dogg be like, Let there be light: ‘n there wuz light.”
   4   And Dogg seen da light, that that shiznit wuz gravy: ‘n Dogg divided da light from da darkness n’ shit.
   5   And Dogg called da light Day, ‘n da darkness tha dude called Night, know what I’m sayin’? And da evening ‘n da morning wuz da first day.”
   6   And Dogg be like, Let there be a firmament in da midst of da waters, ‘n let that shiznit divide da waters from da waters, know what I’m sayin’?
   7   And Dogg made da firmament, ‘n divided da waters which wuz under da firmament from da waters which wuz above da firmament: ‘n that shiznit wuz so, know what I’m sayin’?
   8   And Dogg called da firmament Heaven, know what I’m sayin’? And da evening ‘n da morning wuz da second day, know what I’m sayin’?
   9   And Dogg be like, Let da waters under da heaven be gathered together unto one place, ‘n let da dry land appear: ‘n that shiznit wuz so, know what I’m sayin’?
   10   And Dogg called da dry land Earth; ‘n da gathering together of da waters called tha dude Seas: ‘n Dogg seen that that shiznit wuz gravy.”
   11   And Dogg be like, Let da earth bring forth grass, da herb yielding seed, ‘n da fruit tree yielding fruit after tha dude’s kind, whose seed is in itself, upon da earth: ‘n that shiznit wuz so n’ shit.
   12   And da earth brought forth grass, ‘n herb yielding seed after tha dude’s kind, ‘n da tree yielding fruit, whose seed wuz in itself, after tha dude’s kind: ‘n Dogg seen that that shiznit wuz gravy n’ shit.
   13   And da evening ‘n da morning wuz da third day, know what I’m sayin’?
   14   And Dogg be like, Let there be lights in da firmament of da heaven divide da day from da night; ‘n let ’em be fo’ signs, ‘n fo’ seasons, ‘n fo’ days, ‘n years:
   15   And let ’em be fo’ lights in da firmament of da heaven give light upon da earth: ‘n that shiznit wuz so n’ shit.
   16   And Dogg made two bomb diggity lights; da greater light rule da day, ‘n da lesser light rule da night: tha dude made da stars also.”
   17   And Dogg set ’em in da firmament of da heaven give light upon da earth,
   18   And rule over da day ‘n over da night, ‘n divide da light from da darkness: ‘n Dogg seen that that shiznit wuz gravy n’ shit.
   19   And da evening ‘n da morning wuz da fourth day.”
   20   And Dogg be like, Let da waters bring forth abundantly da moving creature that hath life, ‘n fowl that may fly above da earth in da open firmament of heaven.”
   21   And Dogg created bomb diggity whales, ‘n every living creature that moveth, which da waters brought forth abundantly, after they kind, ‘n every winged fowl after tha dude’s kind: ‘n Dogg seen that that shiznit wuz gravy n’ shit.
   22   And Dogg blessed ’em, saying, Be fruitful, ‘n multiply, ‘n fill da waters in da seas, ‘n let fowl multiply in da earth n’ shit.
   23   And da evening ‘n da morning wuz da fifth day.”
   24   And Dogg be like, Let da earth bring forth da living creature after tha dude’s kind, cattle, ‘n creeping thing, ‘n beast of da earth after tha dude’s kind: ‘n that shiznit wuz so, know what I’m sayin’?
   25   And Dogg made da beast of da earth after tha dude’s kind, ‘n cattle after they kind, ‘n every thing that creepeth upon da earth after tha dude’s kind: ‘n Dogg seen that that shiznit wuz gravy.”
   26   And Dogg be like, Let us make mutha in izzle image, after izzle likeness: ‘n let ’em has dominion over da fish of da sea, ‘n over da fowl of da izzle, ‘n over da cattle, ‘n over izzall da earth, ‘n over every creeping thing that creepeth upon da earth.”
   27   So Dogg created mutha in tha dude’s own image, in da image of Dogg created tha dude tha dude’s ass; male ‘n female created tha dude ’em.”
   28   And Dogg blessed ’em, ‘n Dogg be like unto ’em, Be fruitful, ‘n multiply, ‘n replenish da earth, ‘n subdue that shiznit: ‘n has dominion over da fish of da sea, ‘n over da fowl of da izzle, ‘n over every living thing that moveth upon da earth n’ shit.
   29   And Dogg be like, Behold, I has given yo’ ass every herb bearing seed, which is upon da face of izzall da earth, ‘n every tree, in da which is da fruit of a tree yielding seed; yo’ ass that shiznit shall be fo’ meat.”
   30   And every beast of da earth, ‘n every fowl of da izzle, ‘n every thing that creepeth upon da earth, wherein there is life, I has given every green herb fo’ meat: ‘n that shiznit wuz so n’ shit.
   31   And Dogg seen every thing that tha dude had made, ‘n, behold, that shiznit wuz hella gravy n’ shit. And da evening ‘n da morning wuz da sixth day, know what I’m sayin’?

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